Working, Kids, Love and Life.

So, Shortly after my last post I started my job at Picture Me Portraits. I love it because it deals with photography and people. I don't get a lot of hours, and soon I'll be getting less so I am looking for another job, either on top of this one or instead depending on the hours the new job will offer.
I am still in Santa fe and still at my sisters house. I love being able to hang out with her and her kids, I love all she does, but I really miss Texas.
I also miss Sonny, he and I started to really work things out before I left and have taken it all to another level of good since I've been here. He's gotten back to good, and I couldn't be happier for him. I just wish I was there to enjoy him. We talked a lot about moving out here to start over but the more I think about it, the more I miss Lake Jackson, or even Clute.
New Mexico, although it's where I come from, has never felt like a good fit for me... and still doesn't.
I sure as hell don't fit in Liverpool either, that's for damn sure.. lol... but, if I had my choice and could find a place and a job in LJ, I'd go back.. wouldn't take me more than two heart beats... that's for damn sure.
..... I'm a workin' mama now... I enjoy it but it is hard work because the duties of a stay at home mom don't elude you just becuz you're not by your children's side for 8 hrs of the day... you still have to clean, cook, bathe, fight with them over what to where, what to eat.. cuddle them when they need it and let them grow when they dont... being a mama is a very exhausting but rewarding job.

It's been awhile... but...

so, here I am, last time I blogged I was in NM, about a month later I moved back to TX to give it one last chance.. one last try... and here I sit in NM again, so I guess that tells you what happened.
I've been looking for a job, so the stay at home mom thing will hopefully soon be coming to an end. Not that I don't want to be at home with my sons, that's the part that hurts the worse, but I have to do what I have to do to show them that when things get hard you are the only one who can pull yourself out of it. I spent the last couple of years waiting for broken promises to be kept and for someone to step up the way they needed to, that wasn't their fault, but mine for sticking it out so long.
my sons are tons happier here, despite a few very rocky beginings, they're prospering very well. they are a bit out of control, I know once I am able to get my own place and get things on track, and in my own place, that they will start behaving very well.
I am so grateful to my sister for helping me out, I know it's a lot to take on a whole family, especially at this time, I don't know what I'd do without her.
I am waiting very patiently for my phone call that says hey come in so you can start training!
Soon enough, I know.

So many thoughts so little time...2010

So i am starting to think that its just naturally the course of life that things turn crappier towards the end of each decade... So if you are turning 30... 27 through 29 are just gonna blow.... Get used to it! So this must mean 30 is gonna rock right? Well I sure hope so... Another year and 8 months before I have to worry about that. Things have been hard on me. I have found myself putting up with things simply because I want to believe the people who hurt me are really decent deep down... But who says? And is it really their fault if I choose to be a pushover simply because I love them? Of course not. I wish the best for these people... All of them because believe me there have been more than one or two who have broken my heart this year... Friends...supposed "family". Funny to me how loosely that word is tossed around with some people. When i love... friend... family... Or lover... I promise you one thing... I may not be perfect at any of these things but i will always try hard to be here thru bad times.