As a stay at home mom, I think we often become forgotten. Forgotten by our parents who now look forward to seeing our children more than us, forgotten by our significant others, even our friends who don’t have children forget us. Our infants become toddlers and they forget how much they loved cuddling and cooing with Mama. Sometimes even we forget about us. We forget that we have needs and wants and dreams, some women even forget that they matter. It’s so easy to become a Robot.
It’s funny to me, because I was once asked by a friend of mine, a friend who didn’t have children. “What do you do all day?” I think a lot of us are asked that question. I said, I take care of my son and clean the house. “That’s it? I would go crazy just sitting around the house all day!”
Ha. Sitting around the house all day is not part of our description. I get up, I make the boys breakfast, I change their diapers, wipe their faces, feed them, clean up that mess, sit them down for some Sesame street while I clean the kitchen and attempt to clean the house up. They of course don’t stay sitting and while I’m cleaning this room they are going right behind me and tearing up that room… I take them for a walk, we might play outside for awhile, and then it’s lunch time, make them lunch feed them, put them down for a nap…. Start the laundry, clean the messes they made while I was cleaning… haha… and start it all over again when they wake up. Yeah, sometimes it gets lonely, and sometimes I wish I could be out in the working world again… but I wouldn’t much rather be a stay at home mom than leave my kids with strangers, only because I have had a personal experience with a bad daycare.
I think it’s insane to think that a stay at home mom is someone who does not work. If that were the case, than please explain why daycare providers, nannies, babysitters and any other kind of child care receive monies for their services? Why do Maids get paid to clean? Why do nurses get paid to care for sick people? I mean, if what mothers do is not work, than why the hell are we paying everyone else to do the same things?
I do have to give props though, to those women who do work, and come home and take care of the household solely on their own, to single mothers, and mothers who have husbands who don’t help out. I have to give props to the men who work their butts off to support their children and give their significant others a chance to BE stay at home moms.

I found a charm today. It was one of those square charms with initials on them, The kind you put on friendship bracelets. The letter was an S. I bought it when I first started working at Hobby Lobby. I bought it because I was crazy in love with this boy who’s name began with an S.
It makes me laugh now to think about the impulse I had to buy that. We were apart at the time, still a couple, but living in two different states. I was walking by the charms one day, and I saw the S, and I bought it. I put it in a special box… along with a heart pendant he bought me. It’s still on its card, I didn’t really have any intentions with it, other than the fact that it had an S.
I am a different person now. I’m With a different man, but that girl, who bought the S because it reminded her of her lover, she’s still a huge part of who I am too.
Imagine what it would be like, had I never been her? I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today… who I am today. I gave of my heart in complete trust that if he tired of having it, he would give it back to me gently. What a fool I was, but I learned from that lesson… just as many mistakes I’d made before that… and the mistakes I’d watched other make.
I often wonder, if one day we’re given the power to go back and change one thing in our lives, how many people would accept that gift. If you changed the fact that you did drugs in 1988, maybe you would’ve just ended up a store manager, instead of a judge.
Would you be willing to give up having a child, just to have a ex-lover be erased from your passed?
I wonder……

Introduction...

I decided to start this blog simply because I sometimes have so many thoughts going through my head about so many different topics that I figured I might as well jot them down. I used to keep a journal as a teen and in my early twenties... but I guess it's time to move past that, and into the techno world that we've become.

I am a twenty seven year old stay at home mother of two toddler boys.

Sometimes, life can get the better of you. When you're life becomes too routine, too simple, you can find yourself feeling like a prisoner in someone else's world. You love your children, and adore you Significant Other, but you feel alone sometimes. Another Reason I've decided to start this post. So I can remember that I am more than a mother to two boys, I am more than his significant other, I am more than all of those labels, My mother's daughter, and so on and so on... I am a Woman, who loves to write stories, poetry, photography. I love to see and experiance new places and things. I will attempt to remain faithful to this post. This is the introduction. There's more to come...