It’s going on nine years…
It’s going on nine years now and the pain, it doesn’t fade…
I try to pretend like I’ve moved on but it still cuts me like a blade…
I still hear the cries of your family as they called out your name…
I still see myself in the corner trying so hard to keep it contained…
I still get a knot every time I remember the day I was told…
That you were gone and I’d never have you again to hold…
I avoid the city in which we grew up and became such good friends…
I pretend I’m angry at you, when all I want is for this to end…
The dreams still come, but your face is hidden in the shadows now…
You and I are always running from the darkness… But it always catches you somehow…
I feel so lost inside because I always knew…
That no matter what happened I could always depend on you…
So much has changed… nine years is a long time…
But I still wish today that you were by my side…
There’s so much I would confide in you, and you alone…
So much of my heart has turned into cold, isolated stone…
No one knows me like you did, Mercedes, no one ever will…
I’ll never forget that moment I’d heard that you were killed…
It’s going on nine years now, and I just wanted you to know…
You’ve never left my heart, even though I don’t let it show…
You’re always on my mind; I can’t let you go, even though I’ve tried…
I walked away from everything, and pushed it deep down inside…
Because for me, I guess it was easier to pretend…
That you were mad at me, than to think your life had come to an end…
Debralee Houston
July 16, 2010
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