My Son.

My older son Gabriel. He's a two year old who is has a level of energy that I've never seen before. He loves to sing to whomever will listen... he grabs up his toy guitar or the little keyboard and goes to town on it while screaming out lyrics to God only knows what song.... at the end he smiles, claps and says "Alright!" and expects you to do the same. He is an outdoorsy kinda kid.. who really really dislikes getting his hands dirty. He's a sweetheart with a bad temper. He is the kinda kid who doesn't mind looking goofy as long as it makes you laugh... he loves Elmo, and idolizes Shrek.

I spent a lot of time as a teen, imagining my first child, and Gabriel just doesn't fit that kid I had in my mind. First off, it was ALWAYS a girl lol... a calm child who was more like me, laid back and of course well behaved. And you wouldn't know it to see him now, but Gabriel used to be that Baby. He was the most well behaved infant I have ever seen... and then he turned ten months old and changed completely. He became more tempermental and demanding. He's more stubborn and defiant. I guess it's typical, but I have never seen a child go so completely from A to Z like he did. He's taught me more about life and love than anyone before him. He's taught me patience and when to let things go. He's taught me it's okay to dance around the house, hell it's fun! He taught me everything I needed to know to be a better mom to his younger siblings.

I often look at him and wonder if I will do the same as so many parents do... expect him to take the reigns when I am unable. I dont even think most of our own parents realized they were doing it to the eldest child.

My own "big" sister was very much like a mother to me, she was often the one I turned to when I needed a "mom". It makes me wonder now, who did she have to turn to? Will Cody and any other younger siblings I may produce, look to Gabriel the same way? Is it necessarily a bad thing if they do? How do you Keep from doing that?